The Bedrest Club

I became a member of the Bedrest Club 9 days ago, when a mundane trip to the laundry room got messy. I was 26 weeks pregnant with twin boys and thought “hey, I should just cruise through the rest of this high risk pregnancy stuck in a hospital” (not). So, here I am, doing everything I can, not to go into labor or get an infection, thereby inducing labor. I lay in bed all day, gestating like a boss, dreaming of the day when my soul will once again drink in the sun like a cold glass of lemonade.

Hospital living is a special brand of sexy, especially for pregnant women. We already feel like odd combinations of a gorilla and Beyonce, yet now our boudoir options are limited to sallow sage tablecloths and itchy white boyshorts (with the added bonus of being stripped of whatever sex life we still had left). Most days I go braless because…who cares?! I suppose I could wear real underwear, but I have strictly adhered to the “life is too short for ugly panties” mantra, so…I will spare the hospitalization of my knickers drawer.

The highlights of my day include waking up feeling like P.Diddy, not bleeding, reporting bowel movements to my nurses, sauntering to the restroom with all the agility of a 90 year old woman, brushing my teeth without having a contraction, pretending online shopping is the Magnificent Mile, getting whole milk instead of fat-free milk with my morning raisin bran, watching my toddler’s fascination with the electric compression stockings binding my calves, hospital bed date nights, friends and family trying to make me fat, and not skipping over all the mundane ads in fashion and beauty magazines (I actually know alot about Brazilian Butt Lifts right now, so if you have any questions, fire away).

What I have Learned So Far:
*Introversion is a superpower when it comes to solitary confinement, but even so, the magic of Netflix does begin to wear thin.
*Fresh Flowers are a Must
*Not all colored pencils are created equal (I’m looking at you, Crayola)
*Everything really does taste better in stemware
*Hospital Coffee is slightly better than airplane coffee…slightly.
*Say yes to pain medication. Say Yes to pain medication. Say YES to pain medication!!!!!
*I already knew this, but I really do have an AMAZING husband!
*Shamelessly pillage the nightly snack cart
*Never take for granted the ability to go outdoors. EVER.
*Be open to socializing with your nurses. They are secretly rock stars.
*Laughter is wonderful medicine
*Coloring books are still fun
*Absolutely take two hours to eat your breakfast!
*God’s grace is necessary, mysterious, empowering, and rich beyond compare
More to come! Until then, this momma is embracing full body womb sanctuary living! What about you? What are some of your favorite ways to pass the time?